i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
