I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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