I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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