You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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