I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
