Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
