i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize