if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
