how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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