I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I didn't notice because vodka
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize