all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
