He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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