we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
