Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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