I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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