That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
