She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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