Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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