Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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