He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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