There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
