ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
