I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
