im drinking this country out of the recession.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You are the jesus of drinking
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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