:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
