my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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