Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
