Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
