big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
