dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
