you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
