I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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