please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
