we made out on top of his cat.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize