she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
