its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
