from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
