the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
