He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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