Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
