So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Randomize
