apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
