Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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