After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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