Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
