hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
