I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I still have a little drunk in my system
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
