:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
