can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
