You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
