jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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