she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
