I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
