She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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