I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
