I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
