I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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