summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize